Ups and DOWNS.

In life, there are no 100% success, neither are there 100% failure.
On bad days: We just have to stay strong and believe in ourselves that we will tide through, no matter how bad our day have been.
On good days: We just have to stay humble and sustain our achievements, no matter how good you think you have done.

I'd say that i am considered as a calm person, no matter how stressed or emotionally challenged i may be. The stillness in me, i'm grateful, for that the reason why i can still manage to get myself up no matter how many times i've stumbled.

To date, i've never felt that my life was ever smooth sailing.
I may be strong in handling my daily life. I speak, i rant, i grumble and i shout. Yes, i have my avenue in venting everything out from me. However, i felt that everytime when i have gone through hard times in my life, the more reserved and quiet i became. Is this psychologically healthy? People who knew me 12 years ago as compared who know me in these recent years, will have a wide contrast in the words they used to describe my character. Sometimes i do feel that i can be rather psychologically unhealthy. Few years back when i was still in NUS, my kor suggested to my mother that i should consult a psycharist. Well, i am not mentally unstable, just perhaps having too much unneccessary things congested in the tiny brain of mine. I've been given the talent to be a thinker, so much so that i think its too overwhelming for me to bear, seriously.

Definitely, as i've always been posting, humans tend to magnify the darker side of things and i belong to the majority. No matter how positive i may deemed to be, on the contrary, i'm the opposite. The more we dwell, the worst we'll get. And on top of all these cliche phrases that we use to stay positive, its always easier said than done. It is a process that we all need to go through, because we have emotions. We need to feel the struggle, the loss, the pain, the saddness.Of course, i know how to be optimistic but emotions are usually not within my control. The more i expect, the more i want, the more disappointed i am.

So today, i feel disappointed in myself and i cant find the exact reason to why i feel so rotten today so i'll assumed that its accumulated snowball, started right at the beginning of my practicum.

Yes, my CT is good.
Yes, my class is good.
Yes, my lesson plans are relevant.

But, i dont feel good.
Where is the sense of satisfaction i had 1 year ago? I was happy then but i am not happy now.

I need a break. My break is coming.











But after that short break, thunderstorm will be awaiting.
Depressed.