Untie the tied knot.

Yesterday, i dreamt of SRJC, lecture theatre 1. I had a virtual walk and everything seems so familar and similar to when i was still schooling. When i woke up from it, i felt like crying. Not that i had a bad dream but cos i came to realise those memories that i had, belong to the 17 year old me. Therefore what i'm left with is mere history. Not great great history, but its really something that is very dear to me personally. In my dream, re-visit that place, rekindled with old classmates. Perhaps thats the one thing i've always wanted to do but i didnt. At this point of time its actually pointless for me to go back as those memories of mine doesnt belong to the daily life of mine now. I keep, i treasure and i move on. Same goes to all my memories i held on tightly when i was in SHPS. We dont let go, we move on.

Recently i've been watching alot of inspiring works which makes me think and reflect upon myself. There are certain things that are kept in that dark corner of us, be it happy,sad,success or regret when we were much younger. Some of these things actually hinder us implicitly or sub-consciously to who we really are to date. We tied certain knots along the way, we made several, if not many, assumptions based on our own interpretation and judgements from time to time. Not that its bad but it would be better if we walk back into our memory journey to clarify certain things or perspections we used to have in the past. Seems easy but its really a tedious process to drop down every single load that you shoulder on yourself. 1g of everything can mountain up to tonnes of the whole thing altogether.

I dont know how you think of this phrase "可是呢然后呢" as it has been sung in that song 《情歌》. I always have this helplessness yet with slight angry frustration feel when i heard that phrase. I dont know if those words are the correct vocab to describe that feeling i had in me or perhaps, feelings should never have an exact vocabulary. How can you describe how you feel when feeling is a complexity? Feeling is personal and is definitely subjective. There is no "ceteris paribus".

So do you always question yourself 可是呢然后呢?
There are certain things we do, we dream of, we work towards.
At the end of it, no matter its good or bad.... 可是呢然后呢 ?


可是呢然后呢